Tour Report #3: Your book is like cheesecake . . .

I’m not really in the mood to tell you about my excursion to Vancouver so instead here are some random pictures from the Vancouver portion of the trip, and a bunch of quotes from people we met along the way.

“That book sounds so horrible, I’m so starstuck! You’re like the coolest person I’ve met.”

“Can I get a hug? And a picture?”

“Can I get three copies?”

“Deadly, this is deadly, hope it blows up.”

“I think this would be good for my daughter.”

“You’re so cool to be so young and have a book published.”

“Yeah so can I get a book and can you sign it?”

Waitress: Are you trying to avoid carbs?
Me: No I’m trying to avoid spinach.
Sam: *breaks into hysterical giggles*

“Actually, I’m looking for a book if you could help me out . . . oh, you don’t work here? Oh but this is kinda like the book I’m looking for.”

“Go jets go.”

“You smell like buts.”

“Your book should have been picked up by Harlequin.”

“Your book is like cheesecake, at first you’re like, ‘wow that looks really good, but no I’m gonna resist’ and then you see it again and you’re like, ‘oh but it really really looks delicious, but I’m on a diet . . .’ and then eventually you just buy it and eat it and love it and it totally ruins every other type of cheesecake out there for you and then you tell all your friends to go get the same cheesecake because it was amazing.”

“It’s like low budget porn.”

“Implied penetration.”

“I’m not your target audience.”

“I’m looking for a book for my girlfriend.”
(because it was the day after valentine’s day and he was clearly in trouble.)

“I’m from Brandon.”

“I’ve been waiting forever to buy this book but my manager kept telling me no.”

“Oh you’re sucking me in, you’re sucking me in . . . damn this actually looks really awesome.”

“Oh yeah, I can support this, one for me, and then one more for my friend.”

“Can you put love? I like love.”

“I’m in the mood for fucking anything.”

“When do I get to meet Kevin?”

Chapters Employee: Oh you know that author is going to be in the store later today.
Me: I know, I’m here.
Sam: *breaks into hysterical giggles*

“We should name our rental car Hung Key, pronounced Hung Gee”

“And all he plays is kpop, because he’s an asian car, he’s a mitsubishi.”

“I’m so excited for you, this is a major accomplishment! Wow!”

“OMG this restaurant plays kpop!”

“That’s not a nerd, that’s just a dumb chick in hipster glasses.”

Have a nice night, it’s time to go home.

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